Don't ruin my TV bro...!

So you just bought a huge new TV eh?  The colors are indeed gorgeous and of course I will go 30 minutes out of my way on my trip back from work just to see it! 

Any new oversized television owner can concur, that first beautiful moment of HD is a gripping sensation liable to produce tears... But what happens when a few hours later your going through the hundreds of HD channels via cable... POW! 

THE QUADRUPLE BAR!  We are all used to the two bars on the side of non-HD material... But what cruel and disgruntled television coordinator decided to make a show with not just two bars on the sides, but two on the top and bottom!  Maybe it was a person jealous to the beauty which owning a lovely, luscious, luxuriously lavish, and large televison can bring into ones living room.  Or maybe it was someone so vindictive and mean spirited that they had no choice but to diminish all 60 inches on LED glory on your wall into 47 inches of misery.  Buyer beware, cable is out to ruin your gigantic fantasies.

What do you mean its not free?

  I'm not quite sure how this phenomenon of free came about... But it needs to end! 
Everyone understands what a loyal customer you are, and how much money you spend here every year, and how you promote this company to all of your friends, and how long you have been a paying customer, and how you will drive out of your way to come to this store, and why your business is important to us... BUT it has occurred to me and it should occur to all of you as well, electronics are a business!!! Going into a store and demanding hundreds of dollars off, or expecting all the fees to be waived destroys the beauty of profitability to which business thrives on. 

Despite the common misconception, electronics are not free to manufacture and a retailer has a margin of profitability!  Believe me I know how important you are, but a profit is a profit and without it you would be making your own products!

Size Does Matter

Everyone knows that size matters.  So why are we all walking around with Blu-Rays and CD's that just cant compete??  The Laser Disc disappeared for no reason and I move to bring it back!.  Just as vinyl records are alive and kicking the Laser Disc deserves a niche market!

And who wouldn't a room full of not quite high definition movies on a larger than life circular disc which at its pinnacle rivaled the size of the actual TV's themselves!

But what I am really trying to say is, CD's and MP3's defiantly sound better than vinyl albums.  No snap crackle and pop, needles are not necessary(for all of you who are scared), and most importantly...Shoving that massive disc in your iPod could prove difficult. 

You all saw that coming right?

Outlook!

What is your email address?  "I use Outlook." No I mean who is your email through?  "Outlook on my computer."  What your email address? "blahblahblah@gmail.com, but its Outlook."


Ok can we take a few moments to clarify!?  Outlook simply shows you your emails.  There is no Outlook email address.  You don't give out an Outlook email address, and in no way shape or form does outlook give you the ability to send or receive email without a 3rd party email provider!!!!  Google has email, Yahoo has email, even Microsoft has email(HOTMAIL NOT OUTLOOK!)

I don't have time for all of that...

Time for what?  The added convenience of your email at your fingertips 24/7?  Or maybe the burden of putting the final touches on that powerpoint right before you presentation... And yes I know its so very stressful having your digital camera, music player, phone, and that sweet briefcase of a  daytimer you carry all in one pocket sized device... BUT I THOUGHT YOU DIDN"T HAVE TIME FOR THAT?!?

Ladies and Gentleman, it's time to accept your fate!   Maybe you won't give in because you don't want to admit you don't know how to use it, or maybe you're just too cool for convenience, but you can't run forever!  Technology will catch up.  I realize the first car was a scary venture for many, but this is merely a smartphone.  Barring any freak accidents or bad horror movie plots, your life will improve with the device of your dreams!

Hybridonia

WHY! CANT A HYBRID! LOOK! NORMAL???

Of course I would love to drive an eco-friendly, gas sipping, sex machine called by most normal beings a car.  But what happened to the beautiful backside and nice sleek looks? When did that go out the window?

It seems to me that this hybrid craze is nothing more than a hipster happening for showboating the newest jellybean shaped mobile!  Well I say nay... Why not just take the beautiful guts of the hybrid and throw those in what we all know and love as a sexy looking car...  Something we could all be proud to park somewhere other than the local coffee shop to argue opposite view points on everything popular whilst sipping a mocha latte green tea frape and smoking non-other than American Spirits(because they are just better)?!

Thanks to Steve!

Seriously???? He wore the same thing for 13 years...  iBet its custom made.