Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Apple: It's not the product that puts me off, its the people.

As a member of the tech community, I recently came into contact with a representative of Apple products.  The purpose of a representative of his nature is to drive product awareness and knowledge, to increase sales.  In my experience the typical interaction is pleasant...  A few questions about how their product is doing, what... if any, concerns you may have about the device(s), and a quick overview of the brand's highlights.

So why am I writing this?

With the Apple representative(and lets be clear... by no means am I surprised), there was not a moment of pleasantry, promotion, or mutual interaction.  For 30 minutes an interrogation ensued. "Why aren't you recommending the iPhone more? It makes you alot of money(and with the amount of back end Apple requires for the privilege of their device, my paycheck has decreased since its launch) ...tell me any objections you have."  Not that he was listening to any objections brought forth.  The smugness in the air was palpable and suffocating, leaving no room for conversation.  Question after question led to role-play situations where no individual but the "Apple"  himself was correct... No matter the topic. No matter the question.  No matter the answer.

After talking with a co-worker of mine for 10 minutes, the representative uncovered that, my colleague does not recommend the iPhone over other products to the "techy" group.  Post awkward silence, the rep asked my colleague to give his pitch to a tech savvy individual as to why other products were better.  The pitch was presented, valid points were stated, and in turn, the rep was asked to give his opposing pitch. Fair? Of course... we were open to his pitch and willing to let him persuade us.

30 seconds of silence later

     "I lost my train of thought."

Another 30 seconds passed.

     "I, uhhh, can't remember what I was going to say, give me a moment."

A final 30 seconds went by.

     "I don't know what to say, but I would love to speak with you at a later time about this topic.  If you would like to give me a call to set up a time when we can go over the specifics of what I would like to say, I would be happy to spend some time reviewing it with you."


For the entirety of our interaction to that point, this gentleman had ridiculed our every word, told us we were wrong, that we needed to do better promoting the most popular phone in the world, that no competing product we use or promote has a benefit to it, and continuously put us on the spot to explain our position.  And finally, after this exhausting and awkward exchange was over we replied in all fairness asking why his product was better...

NOT ONE WORD.  The same representative that KNEW all other products were inferior, could not mutter a single syllable as to why his product reigned supreme.  When asked in turn to do exactly what he asked of us, he froze.  A direct employee of Apple, paid to promote the features and advantages of their devices failed to come up with a compelling argument, or any argument at all.  The same man willing to attack any and all that did not sport an apple on the back, with examples that had little validity if any, had no response beyond  his products were "amazing."

I have no problem if you use a product because you like it.  If you bought something simply because you wanted it, even if it makes no sense to another.  But don't go out and trash every product similar to yours if you can't give a single explanation as to why those products are junk.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Dolla' Dolla' Bill Y'all




Lets us never forget, it is not free to manufacture the electronics we love.  So DEMANDING EVERYTHING BE FREE makes no sense right? Right.   At the end of the day you are dealing with businesses, and a business by necessity must make money.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Nerd!

Today we celebrate the inner Nerd in everyone.  Whoever said Nerds require glasses?  We all enjoy a touch of nerd, unless of course you frat  so hard that your double popped collar serves as a retaining wall for some higher calling of douche.

So get your Nerd on.  Go play a 4th grader in halo and tell him to "grow a pair" with your headset(don't even think about lying and telling me you've never done that), then talk it up with the love of your life, E-Girl (the one and only chick in your favorite Dragon Ball Z chat room). Or if that doesn't tickle your fancy; grab a big hunk of foam, some paint, and a razor blade to make one spectacularly realistic Darth Vader helmet to wear while you watch Star Wars.

NERD ON!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

I love AUTOCORRECT!

Variety is the spice of life and why can't we enjoy the same joy on our mobiles? Believe you me... Yes. We. Can(Obama Style).  With the most random occurrences of glorious miscalculated typing ability comes the beauty that is Auto Correction.  Why not spruce up a boring "My sister's brisket was delicious" with a conversational "My sister's tits were delicious."  Raucous, crude, and hilarious!

For that we thank you, AUTOCORRECTION.