Dolla' Dolla' Bill Y'all

Lets us never forget, it is not free to manufacture the electronics we love.  So DEMANDING EVERYTHING BE FREE makes no sense right? Right.   At the end of the day you are dealing with businesses, and a business by necessity must make money.

Nerd!

Today we celebrate the inner Nerd in everyone.  Whoever said Nerds require glasses?  We all enjoy a touch of nerd, unless of course you frat  so hard that your double popped collar serves as a retaining wall for some higher calling of douche.

So get your Nerd on.  Go play a 4th grader in halo and tell him to "grow a pair" with your headset(don't even think about lying and telling me you've never done that), then talk it up with the love of your life, E-Girl (the one and only chick in your favorite Dragon Ball Z chat room). Or if that doesn't tickle your fancy; grab a big hunk of foam, some paint, and a razor blade to make one spectacularly realistic Darth Vader helmet to wear while you watch Star Wars.

NERD ON!

I love AUTOCORRECT!

Variety is the spice of life and why can't we enjoy the same joy on our mobiles? Believe you me... Yes. We. Can(Obama Style).  With the most random occurrences of glorious miscalculated typing ability comes the beauty that is Auto Correction.  Why not spruce up a boring "My sister's brisket was delicious" with a conversational "My sister's tits were delicious."  Raucous, crude, and hilarious!

For that we thank you, AUTOCORRECTION.

TASHTOSOIGFOOIMHAWESTLIASWPAWSAEUTKWTMOALHTAWWTSWTFIM

ThisAbbreviationShitHasToStopOrImGonnaFreakOutOnlineIMeanHowAreWeSupposedToLiveInASocietyWherePeopleAbbreviateWholeSentencesAndExpectUsToKnowWhatTheyMeanOrAtLeastHaveToAskWhoeverWroteTheSentenceWhatTheFuckItMeans

STFU!

"Theres no way! Becky did what???? Thats soooooo grosssssssss.... She shouldn't even try and fit into that.... Last time I saw her I was like, and she was alll..... ewwww."

Why do the most annoying people insist on talking at an unreasonable volume!?  We ALL know the ones.  Trying to enjoy a cup of Joe at the local Starbucks when Wendy Who the Fuck starts raaaaving about Becky and her big butt.  We dont care!!! Wendy... a normal volume would suffice, or maybe you should express your whiny voice via text message, drink your coffee and leave the rest of the world to peace =)


And lest we forget the public business deal.   Its all a secret between business partners in the news, but why must every man in a suit talk about they juicy details of their business nuances at max capacity?  "Bill there is no way we can pull that deal out of the ground!  The way Alex parades around with hookers in the media, the business is having trouble as it is!  Unless we can convince him that fake titties and high heels aren't sexy then we will never get Wall Street on board!"

Of course the Baskin Robbins... full of children, and loving parents... needs to hear all about Alex's addiction to the wonders of paid for by the pound boobies.

The government has started to require headsets in cars... Maybe we can petition for the "STFU You are annoying and talk way to loud whilst on your phone in public places limitation device!"

Tab-let-down

"Just try it.  You'll love it I promise.  Its so much more convenient around the house and while traveling!"

Wise words of tablet flattery!  Oiy Ve.  The last two months of my life brought to test this theory that the laptop is dead.

Day 1:  To the couch we go! The T.V. is on and I'm happily downloading apps to my beautiful new Galaxy Tab 10.1.   The lovely display is complimented by the sleek looks and interactive touch screen.  Email? There's an app for that.  Facebook? an app!  Ebay?  an app! .............. Apps are just so damn exciting! (smiley face).

Day 2: Back at it.  Lets check my blog, see who's reading!?  Oops, the flash player didn't quite load right.  No sweat back to my apps, love em to death!

Day 3: Grab that tab! Why not see what the world has to say on Facebook.  loooooooaaaaddddding... but alas here we are.  "OMG did you see dancing with the starrrrs?"  Sweet, the worlds still the same!  Maybe someones on chat.  Oooops, chat doesnt work with this app.  No sweat. The touch screen is still cool.

Day 4:  Whats happening on the interwebs today? Choices...Choices...  Laptop come hither!

Why does everything on a tablet have the same convenience as a smartphone?  Simply put, the operating systems just aren't there yet.  Browsers are slow.  Apps don't support all the features.  Typing sucks. And the biggest draw for most people the games..... are either hard to play or boring after 30 minutes.(If you justified spending 600 and change for a tablet just to keeps the kids quiet in the car then... Yikes).   Not to mention the business aspect to these devices.  Do you really see yourself working on an excel spreadsheet with your tablet?  Good luck, grab a beer and hunker down its going to be a long frustrating while.  Maybe you want to take some notes in word... Sure can!  Type away at 10 WPM then get back to me, and don't even think about formatting those notes without your computer.  And yes you can play that PowerPoint, but try and make one with your lovely tabby.  That tablet is a glorified flash-drive if all your doing is using its hard drive. 

Yes the portability and battery life of the tablet has its advantages, but the features aren't there yet.  Games are short and boring, productivity is convenient only when your bored, and the price is ridiculous.  Each and every app that is advertised with deity status comes standard with most laptops for the same price or less.  And laptops are keeping up, battery life with ultra-portable laptops running fully featured operating systems are approaching double digits, for a slightly higher price than your coveted tablet.  Throw in all the adapter your need to meet that laptops connectivity, 1-5 dollars for most worthwhile apps you download, and we are in a dead heat.

Put the best tablet and a Macbook Air on a table side by side(and I hate Macs).  I'll take that Macbook any day of the week.

My dream for technology

Ladies and Gentleman, this is where I want technology to be in 5 years.

Imagine a device that is small and sleek.  At the same time it is large and elegant.  Imagine a device that takes the simplicity of design, but incorporates the productivity of power.  What if you got a picture message on a pocket sized device, and unfolded it to show an entire room?  Or left the tablet in the past?

 Flexibility is the point here.  What I want to see is a 3 inch phone that can unfold into a 10 inch tablet, or an 18 inch computer screen.  A device that can project a digital keyboard onto a surface to allow productivity's needs. What if your phone camera was a projector?  A Photo editor? A keyboard and mouse?  What if that palm sized 5 oz device could unfold into a desktop powerhouse, or a Wifi television?

The idea of a flexible touchscreen and projected imagery leads to so many possibilities.  If we can create pliable hardware we can fold any sized device into the palm of your hand.

What would you pay for a full sized laptop, with the power of a desktop, and the portability of a cell phone?