Comeback!

The bigger the better?  Well that may depend what we are talking about...  But the era of face engulfing real estate properties we are calling phones nowadays has peaked!

Slim, sleek, and sexy!  Sounds like a fun night to me, and of course you want to look cool while talking to a real live person. Conversation is on its way back, and let me tell you, its not in the form of a how r u! 

It only makes sense you would seemingly be more popular when people want to hear your real live voice, and what better way to do that than with that beautiful conversation piece that fits perfectly in your pocket. 

Oh yeah, and you'll sound good too ;)

It's all in the name!

It recently occurred to me with the overload of technology companies and products that names are becoming less and less important.  And how could you argue with one of the most popular products of the year duly named the iPad.  With the exception of Apple who so cleverly names everything i, who comes up with these names?  Is it some guy hanging around the office getting paid way to much to come up with a bold yet smooth alias for a device that can reach the cosmos with its intensity.  And yes I did just use all phone names in the end of that sentence. 

We should try this out for a size, a giant lottery pick system, similar to sports, where a computer randomly generates a number of names and each product gets its chance to pick the name they want.  Upon entry each item is given a number and randomly selected for who gets to choose first.  The names can range anywhere from house cat breeds to vicious yacht names. 

Or wait, is that how choose already?

Scandal!

A reported scandal featuring the tech company Apple has been discovered after months of succesful sales with the iPad.

It appears after investigation that the iPad has indeed stolen the iPod interface! The larger iPad counterpart may soon earn the name the iPod Jumbo as people are assuming its ability to play the newest media format, JumboMP3. The support of this format would be huge(no pun intended) as JumboMP3 will have the capability to play lil' Jon's newest music style "ScreamoRageCrunk" which is simply too loud for traditional MP3 devices.

This shocking news comes only a few days after the reported 26.5 million dollars Kotex paid Apple to name the device the iPad. This large amount of money was put forth in hopes that the iPad name would boost sales of Kotex feminine products.

A double cappuccino should cover it!

I gotta feel for the friendly locally owned and by no means corporate juggernaut Starbucks.  Everyday in towns like your own, poor Starbucks locations are being taken advantage of by rent-dodging portable businessmen!

And why wouldn't a small coffee cover all office rental fees?  It's time to take a stand people.  No longer can we allow someone to set up a desktop computer, monitor, printer, fax machine, separate laptop, network cable and router to power both devices with the wonders of the inter-webs, plus 3 coffees, two sodas, and a large suitcase with rolling wheels to top it off... at the local coffee giant. 

The worst part is the coffee shops are helping them do it!  Every counter comes complete with 300 outlets, wifi, and all other means of connectivity.  Take a stand and use the drive-thru!(Yes I planned that irony that at no point would you stand up going through the drive-thru)

Guitarded!

Breaking news! A recent study found in the amount of time it takes to master expert mode on guitar hero, you could have actually become one.

Flamer jokes aside, this man is obviously burning up the charts one colorful button at a time.  And who wouldn't be proud enough of their digital endeavors and button mashing ability to purchase a flaming guitar/strap/shirt set complete with obligatory rock-fist?   Of course this guitar package only becomes available once you unlock and beat the game on the maximum virginity difficulty level!

Rock on.

It's a Girl!!!

Who wouldn't want their girlfriend to play video games with them?  Every man's dream right? Wrong!

Ok, so maybe I exaggerated a little on the wrong part but it is seemingly cruel to subject your love interest to endless banter.  "Hey baby want to catch my bullets?"  And why wouldn't every guy on the face of an xbox try and pick up a girl whom they never met and is destined to be hundreds of miles away and probably has a boyfriend and isn't attracted to gamers and probably hates pickup lines and for all you know weighs 450 pounds... all on the one and a million shot shes going to ditch the controller, hop in her Civic and ravage you sexy!

That mute button is a saint among sinners isn't it?

You can't catch me!

To quote The Dark Knight, "This town deserves a better class of criminal."

So you think your pretty crafty eh?  Hacked on to your favorite online vendor and snaked a few card numbers!  So what do you do?  Obviously go to homedepot.com buy 3 grand in power tools and caulk(ha he said caulk...) and ship it to your place of residence for the sheer convenience of not having to borrow your buddies truck!  And yes I refuse to buy a truck for that reason alone.

The perfect crime right?  Well... no my friend.  Your computer skills are impressive and your online shopping skills are nothing to scoff at, but there's one fatal flaw.  "Would you like to ship to a different address than you are billing to?" 

Come on people! You can't really believe you won't get caught shipping stolen merchandise to your own parents basement. And lets be realistic, the power tools only make you feel more manly and you're gonna need that whilst locked up in prison!